Monday, February 2, 2015

Don't forget the sweets ...

Today I didn’t really have a big topic to write about per se, more than I really just had a thought that intrigued me. Many times we write and talk about our problems or hard times. We talk about the wisdom that we have taken from those times and what we have learned from it all, and oh what a story! What we’re not talking about too much, or maybe I’m not finding it, is what the turning point within ourselves was. I guess my intrigue stems from those most awesome moments that left us feeling refreshed and satisfied, and able to move on.

When we are in times that seem unreal and it seems like things just can’t get any worse, harder, longer (whatever), we know that someday we will see it differently, or at least we hope so. We know that someday we can share our stories with others who are going through the same thing and maybe, just maybe, it will give them some idea or shed some light on a hope for the future. It also reiterates to ourselves that we actually did it. But before those stories are told, there is that quiet and very sweet moment when things change, and we feel it. And it feels good.

It comes when you feel like you have finally shed enough of whatever it is and things have shifted. It may not seem like a lot, but you’ve shed just enough of the pain, struggle or stress … enough of the pity party or whatever it is, and it changes your outlook completely. It makes you feel like you can get on your feet again. You feel refreshed in some way and able to move on and move forward. You take a sigh and look around with a feeling of satisfaction.

Of course, if we do make it through something big, there is the awesome fact that we have the win behind us, and that is most definitely something. We can say that we stuck it out and made it through. We can tell our stories and can say “Yes! I did that!”, and we have transcended.  

We feel good telling the whole big story and how we came out the other side, however I say the story alone leaves something to be missed. Something we should hold tight. What we never really share is that sweet, sweet moment. That moment when you wake up and quite simply, there it is; it’s your future. Everything looks different and you feel like you can finally take a breath for the first time in who knows how long. It’s the sweet spot of it all where you know that “it” really and truly is behind you (and the possibility of things ahead of you for that matter). You take a breath and stand up tall, while taking in the private realization and celebration that you have conquered whatever it was. 

Even if these shifts don’t make for great storytelling, I hope for us all, those moments are not forgotten. It’s when we smiled to ourselves. When we put our head up high and we walked ourselves forward. It may be short-lived, but after everything preceding it, nothing compares to it, at least not at that time. We are thankful, we are grateful, we are glad … and it is so, so sweet.

It could even be the stress of something wonderful, like getting married. Married is the big story. Your claim to fame is the wedding, the dress, the tux, the friends ... but the very sweet moment is within yourself when you realize you are “there”. 
That click in your brain that you are now moving forward with this person, and your life is changing. You smile to yourself with excited nerves. You have shifted, and you feel happy and accomplished.

So why do those moments get tucked away? They are the best of the best! I know for me, I live a colorful life and with that does come struggle but it also comes with many sweets. And I look back and it is those sweet moments that I remember when I finally could take a breath and look around and say, “Wow”. The accomplishment has arrived even if the struggle is not quite done. These moments come in all shapes and sizes.

One time, I was getting my mail and another time I had just gotten to the grocery story. And yet another, I landed in Colorado without a clue. However simple, those times were a few shifters I will not forget.

I’d agree that these moments are happening privately for the most part but I also think we share these moments less because they are not so glamorous, and it’s the big story that is much more appealing to our fans in life. It can seem like our pride comes mainly from the accomplishments that others can see. 

To me, we are not defined by our stories alone, but more so by these private moments when we realize our successes or relief, and can feel what we have become. These moments occur before any stories are told and are ours and ours alone. I’m not saying that to “live to tell it” doesn’t mean something because it certainly does, but it’s that moment with yourself when you realize that it is happened at all that is the grand prize. That’s the good stuff, even if to share these moments make us vulnerable or make us blush.

And should we keep them forever private, I hope they are never forgotten. I say, sometimes we should celebrate ourselves and remember the sweets.

Dance alone, have a glass of wine, laugh, cry … sing even if you can’t, and remember the times when you thought life couldn’t get any better than it was right then, hard times or not.